Therapy for Couples
Beneath the Conflict
When couples come to therapy, it’s rarely just about sex, dishes, or communication styles. It’s about what those moments represent—the longing to feel seen, wanted, and supported by the person who matters most. For many couples, what gets in the way isn’t a lack of love—it’s fear. Fear of being misunderstood, fear that it’s all your fault, fear of disappointing each other, or fear that if you really said what you needed, it might push your partner away. So instead, one person withdraws. The other pushes harder. And both end up feeling alone.
Seeing the Pattern
In our work together, we slow down and pay attention to what’s happening underneath the surface—the instinctual reactions, the protective roles, the patterns you learned long before this relationship. When we can identify which parts of us are leading the charge in moments of conflict—the fixer, the critic, the peacekeeper—it becomes easier to see that the problem isn’t you or your partner, but the pattern. You’ll begin to notice not just what you’re fighting about, but why these moments hit so deeply. I’ll help you learn to talk about hard things in ways that foster curiosity instead of defensiveness, accountability instead of blame, and connection instead of distance. This is deep, intentional work that moves beyond problem-solving and into emotional intimacy—the kind that’s honest, sustainable, and alive. I bring warmth, humor, and directness to help each person access their emotions and show up more fully in the relationship.
Whether you’re struggling with differences in desire, recurring conflict, or the quiet ache of emotional distance, therapy can help you build the safety and trust needed to reach each other again—and stay connected in a way that lasts. If this sounds like you, learn more about what it’s like to work with me below.
What’s it like to work with Raelynn?
The Path Back to connection
In my work with couples, I help partners slow down and really see what’s happening between the dishes in the sink and the repetitive discussion about money— not just the surface-level arguments, but the deeper patterns that keep you stuck. Often, couples find themselves in cycles of conflict, distance, or silence. These patterns usually come from old wounds and protective strategies carried with us, often without even realizing it.
I draw on Internal Family Systems (IFS) Theory to help each partner notice and understand their own parts — the hurt, protective, or reactive parts that show up in moments of stress or disconnection. What does each partner contribute to the cycle? How can we begin to break free? When we can identify and tend to these inner parts with compassion, it opens the door to more authentic connection with your partner.
Alongside this, I help partners practice staying grounded in themselves—even when emotions run high. Healthy relationships aren’t about losing yourself to stay connected, or pulling away to protect your independence. They’re about learning how to hold onto you while staying open to each other. That balance between individuality and intimacy is what allows love to feel both safe and alive.
In session, this looks like:
Building tolerance to stay in hard conversations.
Slowing down recurring arguments to notice what’s really going on underneath.
Creating space for both partners to express their needs, fears, and desires clearly.
Finding communication strategies that build new pathways through tough conversations.
Discussing the impact of past patterns and wounds on current patterns.
Exploring new ideas of relationship, intimacy, and connection.
Practicing new ways of listening and responding that build safety and respect from a place of authenticity.
Supporting each partner in showing up authentically, without needing to fix or change the other.
Ultimately, my goal is to help couples move from feeling stuck in old patterns to experiencing more trust, playfulness, and intimacy. Together, we create space for both partners to be fully themselves — and to choose each other, again and again, in a deeper and more authentic way. As a couples therapist, I am warm, direct, and deep. I challenge my clients to explore every corner of their internal world to find deeper intimacy and create space for their whole selves within their relationship - even the messy, shameful, and lonely ones we may like to keep hidden away.
Fill out the form below to get connected for couples therapy today!
